Do You Have the L-Factor?

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sophiaIn the June Cosmo, a little story on What Makes us Likable on page 50 conjures up what gives women the L-factor  (Likeability).

The author points to a friend who loves to hate on Anne Hathaway as that too perfect, too pretty, too successful actress that we just can’t seem to get behind the way we do say, Jennifer Lawrence or Jennifer Aniston.

What gives? Apparently, it’s this L –factor. It’s the same as that talented, pretty, annoyingly smart girl from high school whom everyone just couldn’t stand. Were we just jealous or was she simply unlikable?

Seems for women to be likable they need these four horsemen: friendliness, relevance, empathy and realness.

When any one of these attributes is missing (women come off fake, they don’t connect with us on a real level, we question their empathy or their motives to befriend us) and buh-bye likeability whether they’re someone we know in person or watch on-screen. Worse, it can quickly morph into dislikability in which women often become catty, backbiting bitches to the object of their dislike.

But can you blame us? Well, Hathaway certainly doesn’t deserve to be disliked because she won an Oscar or dropped to 98 pounds for a role, right? And yet, there’s no denying that the self-deprecating Lawrence or the solid girl’s girl Aniston reek of  likeability compared to say, Gwyneth Paltrow (is it because she’s unfriendly, irrelevant,  aloof or phony—or is it all those hours in the gym?)

Or take Facebook COO Sheryl Sandburg who implied women need to just lean in to their career and they’d become more successful. Perhaps that came off as not relevant or empathetic enough for most women. There goes her L-factor.

Regardless, clearly this allusive L-factor runs through the veins of some women while it seeps out the souls of others. Perhaps we’re not even conscious of the qualities we need to possess to become likable in the first place, and God forbid if we simply don’t possess them. Is likeability learned? Can women improve their L-factor? We already know it cannot be faked.

Perhaps it’s too much to ask of us to simply accept those without star L-factor qualities. Sure, we don’t have to like everybody but we also needn’t trash them if they’re missing the attributes of personality that draw others to them. Like mama always said, if you can’t say something nice don’t say anything at all. Ms. Hathaway will appreciate it.

Why Do we Like Some Women More than Others?cheryl

ann hathawayjen a

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One response »

  1. Pingback: The Acceptance Prophecy | The Psych Scrivener

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