The 50s-inspired man centric theme that runs through the July issue of Cosmo is particularly disturbing when you add up the number of articles that focus on what men think of women, what women should do to please men, and what women should do for men…
On page 72, there’s “The Surprising Quality Guys Find Sexy.” It’s curiosity in case you were curious. But for once, wouldn’t the surprising quality women find sexy be interesting? I guess not.
Page 130 brings us “Don’t Let your Guy Get Skin Cancer.” Uh, yeah, because that’s our responsibility suddenly, right ladies?
And this month’s middle of the mag package is “A Guide to His Package…So Hot it had to Be Sealed.” Yes, you actually had to pull off the seal strip to open the content. Here, you’re treated to an array of tidbits on how to handle him with care, why it’s called a tool and the best moves for every shape of penis possible. If it curves to one side, try this. If it’s long and thin, go for this move. Uh can you say trite? The whole package is about the sex he craves but it has little to do with you.
The issue wouldn’t be complete without “Girlie Décor That Won’t Freak Him Out,” because as we all know, if you have too many knick knacks, floral accents or pink in your décor, that might send your guy over to the dark side. Apparently, a velvet couch is the comfy furniture that will make guys stay at your place a while longer, too.
And we round it all out with “A Sexy Late-Night Meal.” Yes, after a long, hot day with a hot guy, you should come home and throw together this mouth-watering meal. FYI, the meal includes grilled chili-rubbed flank steak, black bean, corn and avocado salad and mojito slushies. Yes, I’m sure hot guy is sitting on the velvet sofa while you “whip up” this midnight meal for him.
After July’s Cosmo fix, I feel like I’ve been transported back to the 50s with Michael J. Fox. Thanks for the memories, Cosmo!