Good Housekeeping Helps us From Looking like Cruella de Vil

Standard

Don't Do your Eyebrows like This!

Oh say it ain’t so Good Housekeeping! Even you disappoint us with the November issue’s “Is Your Makeup Aging you?” Honestly? Even our makeup is aging us now?

I thought we wore make up to help us look nicer, but nope, women of a certain age might be aging themselves by making these critical makeup faux pas!

According to the piece on page 63, these twelve technique errors we make when applying our makeup age us:

  1. Foundation color is too pale. We can’t wear the same color we wore in our 20s since now our skin has grown pallid. Shit, we’re older GH, not dead.
  2. Cakey concealer. You know that crepey crap around our crow’s feet that settles into all our fine lines. Thanks for pointing that out to us.
  3. Cruella De Vil brows. I couldn’t quite remember what evil Cruella’s brow job looked like, but now that I’ve refreshed my memory, I must say I’ve never seen a real  woman of any age with those suckers.
  4. Streaked blush. Hmmm. Remember when you were 14 and first experimenting with drugstore blusher? I thought we learned not to make it streaky back then.
  5. Lipstick bleed. This one is because the definition of our lip borders softens with age. Apply lipstick with a brush not straight from the tube now that you are old.
  6. Pancake face. As your hormone levels drop with age, your skin gets drier and creamy foundations can be more drying giving you a Halloween clown face.
  7. Too much eye shadow. Makes your peepers look weighted down with excess baggage.
  8. Jagged liner. Apparently with age you can no longer apply a straight eyeliner line due to all that hand shaking.
  9. Wrong color shadows. Browns and bones make you look more tired and haggard than you actually are.
  10. Quit cream blushers. Seems cream products sticks to your aging dry patches and cakes there.
  11. Droopy lashes. Who knew we were in store for this beauty horror?
  12. Same old colors. If you’re still wearing cerulean blue shadow, move into this decade, ladies.

Honestly, GH, thanks for the tips but your piece just served to show women every aging flaw their face might possibly develop and that it doesn’t look good anymore as is.

Advertisements

About stilettonation

Jennifer Nelson is a writer working on Stiletto Nation: Inside the Perfumed Pages of the Women's Magazine Industry to be published Fall of 2012 by Seal Press. Stop in and read about the great, the awful and the insane in the fragrant pages of the women's glossies.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s